My life has become the 'Twilight Zone'

So I went to the eye doctor today. Two things of note to report:

1-My prescription is finally the same for both eyes. I've been wearing contacts for I think 10+ years now, and only now can I stop worrying about which lens goes in which eye.

2-My eyes were dilated today for the first time. As someone who has studied lighting and photography, it's interesting to see principles I know pretty well demonstrated in my very eyes (well, more than the usual). The smaller the aperture, the larger the depth of field, providing there's enough light for a clear image. If the aperture is as small as possible without being closed, then everything should be in sharp focus.

The wider the aperture is, however, the narrower the depth of field, and the more finicky focus is. I'm nearsighted (that means I can see things that are near, some people can't seem to crack that particular jargon). For the first time in...well, ever, I cannot see what is directly in front of my nose. I can see distant things okay (with my contacts in) but nothing at any distance is in sharp focus.

My nearsightedness was a bit better before I put my contacts in before leaving the office, though diminished from what it normally is. Once I put the contacts in, I actually started experiencing what it's like to be far-sighted. Leaning in to better read something, as I'm used to, just makes things worse. I have to lean backwards to make anything out. My mother is farsighted, and it always seemed so strange that she would lean away from the computer monitor when trying to read.

So I get home, and I figure I'll watch some shows on our 50" HDTV from a reasonable distance. Except I don't have any shows recorded!!! Okay then, I'll work on some templates for another site I'm working on. Nope, can't SEE NEAR, dipshit. No, but I've got the time now! I've got the whole day free! Not to mention, all these feeds, and I can't read them! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Saw it coming.

Okay, so to pass the time I pillowed my eye sockets with cotton balls and wrapped my head with gauze, just like MacGuyver did in that episode of MacGuyver. When my roommate gets home, we'll do a dramatic unwrapping. Will I have regained my sight, just in time to recognize who it is that blinded me in the first place? Professor Moriarity, of course! I thought you were dead!

David

PS--Yes, that is a picture of my eyes at the top of the post. That's about 45 minutes after hitting full dilation. They were bigger at the Dr.'s office. And yes, my eyelashes are luxuriously long...shut up.